The truth about what I want

Recently, I was going through a rough patch, as we all do from time to time. Important relationships were appearing in my life like relation-shits (as my dear friend Jana Kellam teaches), several of my mechanical tools broke within 24 hours, and I was fearful and stressed about all the details of my life.

Honestly, it was just a day, and luckily my creative practices kept me balanced. But it still was a rut, like I was stuck in a really unfamiliar groove of being in this life.

One of my biggest creative practices is to take a walk. I prescribe this to myself and my clients pretty much on the regular to rid thy self of the funky.

Walking allows for our nervous system to return to it’s home of pleasure, joy, and balance. 

During that walk I repetitively asked myself “what do I want?”. When my mind started to fall back into the victim mentality of my crummy patch of time, I gently nudged myself and said:

What do I really want? 

what do I want, rose candela

Here are the answers that came to me when I asked myself that simple yet deep question: 

I want to feel connected to God in my every moment.

I want to be able to label something that I don’t understand in order to get over it.

I want to teach lots of women about giving birth to their creative wishes.

I want to get to know my husband intimately more and more, every day.

I want to eat brie, drink a big glass of red wine, have a cup of sugary coffee, snack on dark chocolate and not feel like it’s the end of my health world. Like, not even a glimpse of guilt springs forth as I enjoy these treats.

I want to fully show up for the hard conversations in my life.

I want to accept and believe in financial abundance in my life.

I want to raise joyous healthy independent beautiful children.

I want to paint on large canvases with my feet as I dance.

I want shelter, warmth, breeze, daily sunshine, and nice clean clothes.

I want to fully trust my body to dance and move and try new things.

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I want to not feel vulnerability hangover after I share myself with others.

I want to take a nap in the afternoons and feel like I had a productive day.

I want to see my nephew and all of my family more often.

I want to fall deeply in love with my dark moments, and know that they bring more light in the end.

I want to witness people smiling more often just ’cause.

I want deep and connected and honest relationships with my friends.

I want to see my reflection in the mirror, and feel that all my imperfections, bulges, lines, and crookedness is beautiful.

Amen. Goddess bless. Jai Ma. Aum Namah Shivaya.

May I always know what I want, and may I seek to know it, always. 

True, I typically have what I want in my days, or I know the future things I want are coming. But every once and a while, ehhhhhhh (that’s how I feel).

And after this walking meditation, I realized the truth about what I want:

I am the gatekeeper, I am the key holder, I am the doorway, I am the pathway.

All I need to do is go forward, take action, lift the veil, and remember all that I am.

Now to you, dear one. I invite you to write a list of what you want after a brief walk of asking yourself, repetitively, what do I want? &  share with me your top 3 wants in the comments below.

Remember, all you want is here and now and in front of you. Seriously. You are breathing, beautiful, and worthy of everything you want and desire and cry out for.

Everything you want is within you. 

To all that you want,

rose

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