“For years I wanted a good marriage, and to become a mother. Now that I have what I’ve wanted…I’m feeling stuck.” I said to my dearest friend.
“Well, it sounds like you need to figure out what you want now,” she so simply reflected to me.
Her simple question stopped me dead in my tracks.
And, how does that finding what I want go, exactly?
I’ve discovered a formula to figuring out what I want.
Here are the steps.
1.Embracing the in-between time.
I’m emerging from my first 2 years of motherhood. It’s been equally the most joyous time and a time of great surrender.
Now, I’ve been torn down, in a sense, for a purpose: I’m more of ME.
But, the process of getting here has been a bit messy. I’ve been in the threshold for a while, and now am emerging.
What can we do to embrace the in-between time?
2. Get perspective on how far you’ve come.
Thank goodness for journals, for my blog archive, for my friends and family — especially my healthy and vibrant son.
These things & people that surround me, so lovingly, are my perspective gauge.
From experiencing the greatest love I’ve ever known, to the intense yearning for a full night of sleep — there’s been growing pain.
One of the tenants of my Soul Cycle Sessions, which is my one-on-one offering, is to honor how far you’ve come in your life.
This action is about taking a moment and look at where you are in your life. Simply look at that passage and say: thank you.
And, don’t forget to…
3. Embody the goodness.
So, back to what I want. As a mother my wants are often wading in a pool of my young sons needs, as in his primary caregiver.
Yet, it’s the most important for me to remember my needs, too.
I’ve found I can care for myself, even with my boy beside me. I roll out the yoga mat and he watches or climbs on me. I take him for trail walks where we both are quiet enough to listen and think. I draw and paint while he plays, and now asks to joins me.
When I’m totally present, not pining for something different, I feel like I’ve arrived. I’m here. I’m exactly where I want to be.
Sure, I could always use more time to myself. What mama wouldn’t want that, right?
Yet, the goodness of THIS moment is raw, real, imperfect and totally mine.
THIS is what I’ve always wanted: to feel content with my life — it’s simple, right?
After soaking the the moment, how do you continue to seek what you want next in life?
4. Release to the process.
If you’re like me, a bit in the dark about what you want next – go to the darkness.
I take my sense of not-knowing to my prayers and ask my sleep filled dreams to show me guidance.
I’m still downloading the information…which will surely be first revealed to you, beloved reader.
My favorite prayer is: Dear God show me, in whatever form you feel best, my next step.
In order to completely accept our lives, as wandering and watery as they may seem — we’ve got to trust there’s something there we can’t see leading the way.
Our wanting is calling us to keep evoking and evolving as we’re meant to.
We’ve got to keep being loving to one another in the process, too.
Most of all – we need to be loving to ourselves.
5. Seeking requires listening.
This circles me back to my dear friend who reminded me of that pertinent question:
Well, it sounds like you need to figure out what you want now.
It’s invaluable to have someone in your life that listens.
If you’ve been wanting someone to listen — that’s what women like me do. Yes, it’s my business to teach and inform, but my service is to listen.
I sort through the roughage to help you see your diamond— the core of who you are.
I’m available for a limited time to do Soul Cycle Sessions work, if you’ve been waiting to join me.
One more month is open before I take a few months off to write and re-calibrate — to be present for my the next cycles of my life.
Life change and transformation can be complicated. It can feel scary. It can also, with the right guidance, be a gateway to loving your life for what it is— yours.
With all that I am, I embrace you and your path.
R o s e
Again, I’m closing the doors to my one-on-one Soul Cycle work this Summer, so while it’s still available – join me here.