Tomorrow night I am displaying my art + giving a talk about my creative process.
Often, I get to this point in my art making that I don’t know if anything I create is good anymore.
As I prepare for my night of exhibition, I see that my feelings are magnified by the vulnerability of showing up for what I love to do–live creatively + create my art, and then tell people all about it.
When I told my husband a few mornings ago that I felt unsure, afraid, and like my creations sucked he asked me sweetly: what does that really mean for you?
I took a pause to question what feeling good about my art truly means and looks like.
I do not know whether the things I create are good or bad for others, that’s always subjective and individual.
But, I do know that when I feel like I am uncertain about my creations, it really that I’m at the threshold of finishing or beginning something new.
I feel this is an analogy for so much of my life.
When I am about to do something new or end something old, I think to myself: I’ve done it again, or how did I get to this place of fear again?
Yet there is a whisper, my deep inner wisdom whisper, that wants to be heard above all the other thoughts, and she says: this is good, this is excitement, this is cultivating the bigger you.
You are safe and ready for this, she whispers to me.
And I choose to listen to my whisper, because that feels right and good, and it radiates truth. Plus, that wisdom is from inside of me, and I honor that being.
Yes, I’ve done it again. But I say that in not a sad voice, but instead a jubilant and exclamatory voice.
I’ve done it again!
What about you: do you feel uncertainty rise when you are about to begin or end an aspect of your life?
Trying to look at vulnerability as a deep strength this day, every day. After all, you are the artist of your life.
Rose
