Where are my emails?

Ok, this may sound like a mail server specific write up. Dear google, I can’t see my messages…

But it’s not that type of ‘where are my emails’ question.

This is a blog post about finding self value. Here it is:

My husband Jason and I were having our sweet morning moments: tea, breakfast, how are you feeling today-type questions.

I feel like I am waiting for something–something I don’t quite know what. I keep checking my emails and all I get are green smoothie recipes in my mail box, I said to him. 

What is wrong with that, let’s make a smoothie, he said to me.

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After the little sweet laughing moment, we dug deep into the ins and outs of this feeling.

OK-so here is my conclusion: I used to be loaded with so many freaking emails from my previous client based work in the mornings. And when I checked the emails, I was sometimes physically ill from the demands/inquiries/requests inside the notes.

Now, there is silence. Quiet in my email box. Tumble weeds roll on through the 101010101000001111 lanes.

You’d think, from my previous statement about the ill moments of email checking, that I’d be feeling freedom right now, like I was just born into this glorious world.

But, this is not the case.

I am feeling a void. I’m filled with expectations that only my email can fulfill.

I have shifted my routine totally, and now. Now?

I get to create my routines now. This is the ultimate creativity task.

How interesting that my own creativity lessons come full circle into my life! (insert sarcasm here).

It’s time to find value outside of the unrealistic, martyr type actions I used to take.

I may never get any other emails again from anyone.

And you know what? I’m still as important to the world as when I was getting 100 a day.

It’s really time for me to hang up the badge of too-much-too-many-overload, and just get spacious.

It’s time to draft an email to myself of all those reasons that I am valuable. And then hit delete, ’cause I’m not checking emails anymore.

It’s time for me to make those green smoothies, now!

Inspire me, dear readers, and write yourself a list of all your values. Because this list will be never ending, how about your valuable acts from today?

To your innate and beautiful value,
rose

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