When you post everything, what is left?

Social media. My love/hate relationship with the tool is so real.

I’ve been thinking of it lately because:

a few of my clients keep having this reoccurring theme of social media burn out that shows up as something “wrong” with them.

I disconnect from social media at least once a month for a few days to recalibrate – and it feels like a freaking vacation

And, why I choose to not post pictures of my son is, like, the number one question I get from people.

So today, I’d like to shine light on why I believe in boundaries on social media, particularly for my personal life.

Your mind is like your yard.

First, think of your mind like you’d think of a fenced in yard. (Perhaps you have one?).

When someone uninvited enters your fenced in yard, you’d be altered and probably would ask why that person is there.

When you open your favorite social media app (mine is Instagram) it’s like hundreds of people are in your yard all of the sudden. Instead of asking why they are there — you are absorbing way more information than you can process. A trampled yard = a trampled brain.

A good fence makes for a good neighbor – the boundary is clear and visible.

When you post everything, what is left?

I love a good story. In fact, a good story told is usually why I follow a person online. Yet, if that story feels like too much, I stop following.

What is too much when posting online?

Meaning, if someone is posting a lot about their processing of: disputes with their partners/spouse, family drama/trauma, or in general doing a vague cry for help — I unfollow. 

Or, if I post coming from a place of neediness, I often feel empty. It doesn’t feel good at all to spill the beans and not know whose picking them up.

Children deserve safe space away from the internet’s gaze.

I know that this may ruffle a feather or two. And so, I’d like to say if you choose to put pictures of your children online: you do you and I understand.

I really am only sharing this because, well, it’s my choice not to put pictures of my son online now. This is not a judgement space. We parents have enough of that going on in other areas of life.

So why don’t I share my child’s pictures online?

Boundaries are an important thing I’m teaching my boy. 

The best way to teach is being a living example.

My son is 2. He hasn’t given me permission to post direct pictures of him. He deserves a safe space from the internet’s gaze – which when you have public business profiles (like me), could truly be anyone. Anyone. I’m not going to even get into that risk, but it’s my job to keep my child as safe as possible.

Listen, there’s nothing more important to me, in many ways, than my son right now. We spend our days together, he’s brilliant and gorgeous, and he’s a really cool person, too.

This choice is a tough one, yet I’m honoring my son in doing so. That’s way more important to me than the dopamine hit I get from “likes” if I post cute pictures of him online.

Tips on social media boundaries:

  • There are apps that remove the feed from your facebook login – so you only get notifications and messages when you log in. Look them up.
  • Come to internet from a place of perspective on your story. Come to your status with an intention, from a place of healing, from a desire to share the universal truth you’ve discovered.– Are you signing on to be entertained? To see what your ex is up to? To learn about an event in your neighborhood? Remember your why for signing on, and always question whether it’s good for you.
  • Set a timer for when you log in to an app + when that timer goes off – get off the app. 
  • PLAN your social media posts based on your personal cycle. If you have an online biz, sketch out your social media plans for the week. I created a tool for you to do this, contact me here if you want to know more.

Tell me – do you feel the need to put up a boundary with social media? If so, what one tip resonates the most with you today?

Embracing you,

R o s e

5 Comment

  1. Jason Ross Martin says: Reply

    Great words of wisdom, Rose. My pastor once taught that your social media posts are like unremovable facial tattoos. I too have unfollowed many people I love because I feel bludgeoned by their political views, primarily. I respect you for not yielding to the pressure to validate your son’s level of support and adulation you undoubtedly showed him with by unending best moments on the internet, even as posts about my puppy are the only kind I really enjoy making.

    1. Oh I love this analogy about social media posts. I love some puppy posts, too. Thanks for your wisdom and tuning in. I’m ever grateful!

  2. Showed=showered
    Autocorrect!

  3. Great advice here, Rose. I will be trying to do better in this area with your tips!

    1. I’m glad this resonated with you. Please keep me up to speed on how it all goes for you!

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