Loving what is doesn’t come easy

Loving what is, a path that I’m always walking. I tend to believe the grass is greener on the others side – a lot.

A few days ago, I took a day retreat. I went back to a place where, when I was last there, I was 8 months pregnant.

I realized, now 3 years later, how much I’ve changed and how much I’ve remained the same.

I sat down on the still frozen earth and wept at this recognition: so much good has transpired. Why am I still wrapped in a big list of things I wish to have/do before I’m happy?

I don’t often know what I’m searching for – I go at life real intensely, and way too seriously, often because I’m wishing it differently. As a mentor and avid human observer I know it’s not uncommon to feel this searching/unsatisfied feeling in our culture today.

We are lacking in mainstream examples of loving what is. I think it’s time to go gently and change this.

Can you relate? Do you keep changing things up over and over and feel like you’re racing against something? What is it you are chasing, exactly?

I think it’s dissatisfaction that we’re chasing. It feels like if we can just grasp it, we will be rid of it, fix it, and never see it again.

Yet, in my experience, chasing just creates chasing. And that creates anxiety and, in the end, an overall discomfort in your body + spirit.

Real life examples of loving what is:

Sleep. My sleep schedule, at this point in my life, is largely geared around my son’s schedule. My husband is a professional musician, so many nights it’s just me on night duty. Instead of wishing things to be different, I love what is. I appreciate that babies and toddlers are figuring it all out, like me.

I throw out the books and blogs and advice on children’s sleep and love my son for all the ways he is.

Pain. My husband is in the midst of a lifetime healing journey, one that I’m witnessing and also part of because we’re in an intimate relationship. It’s affecting the way we connect, and sometimes reveals patterns that need to change. I want to fix it all, I want the cure to be swift and painless. Loving what is looks like holding space for the mess, and stepping away from my wish for it to be perfect.

Armor down, I love the pain for the immense healing it brings.

Darkness. I experience seasonal blues. It’s nothing new, and it’s one of the reasons I couldn’t stay in the great city of Chicago after my living there for a full 18 months. The lack of sunlight makes me wilt. Right now, I’m in it. Trusting the cycles of life is my #1 tool. I want to nap in the afternoon while my son naps. Nap time is usually the time I catch up on emails or texts, plans for my tiny biz, cleaning counter tops, making art.

I’m letting those busy tasks go, in order to love what is and rest when my body wants rest.

Overall, I invite you to love what is. It’s not easy, it’s not a quick fix, but it will bring you comfort in the times you need it most.

Find ways to relax your instinct to chase. Be in nature when you can. Paint or create something away from a computer/screen. Take time to observe your surroundings at least once a day. Look at yourself in the mirror with love and acceptance as your main thoughts.

Throw out the bucket list – the life you’re living is richer than any freaking list.

It’s a lifelong path to love what is.

And whether you walk, run, or slowly crawl this path, trust the timing of your life. It’s gorgeous, messy, made from love and I guarantee you’re unlike anyone that’s ever been here before. You’re not alone. Ever.

If you want guidance in loving what is, the doors are open to my mentorship program. Apply here, or contact me directly if you have any questions.

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