I’ve done it again

Tomorrow night I am displaying my art + giving a talk about my creative process. 

Often, I get to this point in my art making that I don’t know if anything I create is good anymore.

As I prepare for my night of exhibition, I see that my feelings are magnified by the vulnerability of showing up for what I love to do–live creatively + create my art, and then tell people all about it. 

When I told my husband a few mornings ago that I felt unsure, afraid, and like my creations sucked he asked me sweetly: what does that really mean for you?

I took a pause to question what feeling good about my art truly means and looks like. 

I do not know whether the things I create are good or bad for others, that’s always subjective and individual.

But, I do know that when I feel like I am uncertain about my creations, it really that I’m at the threshold of finishing or beginning something new.

I feel this is an analogy for so much of my life.

When I am about to do something new or end something old, I think to myself: I’ve done it again, or how did I get to this place of fear again?

Yet there is a whisper, my deep inner wisdom whisper, that wants to be heard above all the other thoughts, and she says: this is good, this is excitement, this is cultivating the bigger you.

You are safe and ready for this, she whispers to me.

And I choose to listen to my whisper, because that feels right and good, and it radiates truth. Plus, that wisdom is from inside of me, and I honor that being.

Yes, I’ve done it again. But I say that in not a sad voice, but instead a jubilant and exclamatory voice.

I’ve done it again!

What about you: do you feel uncertainty rise when you are about to begin or end an aspect of your life?

Trying to look at vulnerability as a deep strength this day, every day. After all, you are the artist of your life.

And, I’ll see you tomorrow!!!

Rose

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