There is no such things as failure.
About a year after my son was born, I was filing away my hospital paperwork. I noticed that the reasons listed for my cesarean surgery was “failure to progress”. A felt a pit in my stomach and rising of grief come forward.
At the root of my grief was this concept of failure — what did that mean for my relationship to my body, and myself?
Failure to birth vaginally? Sure. Failure to birth? Not at all.
Often, failure is life bearing.
And then, as in my case, the failure has informed the greatest chapter of my life: mothering.
Here are 3 truths about failure.
1. Failure doesn’t really mean what we think it means.
Failure is a term that, in the early 1900s, became popular in the context of banking.
And in a society that places value of self on amount of money in the bank, it’s no wonder that we feel less-than when we experience failure.
Today, we are using the term to discuss our self worth. We are integrating failure in ways we aren’t meant to be integrating it. We’re measuring ourselves against something that isn’t meant for the human soul.
It’s time to throw the term failure away. Bye-bye.
2. You’re being called to a dormant time.
If you feel like you’ve failed, you’re more than likely being called to a dormant time. The dormant time in the seasons is about reflection, not doing. It’s about letting your fallen leaves become food for your roots.
When, we push against the season we’re experiencing, it’s painful. Like if you literally ignored that it was winter, and dressed like it’s summer — your skin would be in pain really quickly.
Today, I ignored my season and pushed myself to make intricate art. I literally created nothing but a mess. After wasting my time and art supplies, I vowed to listen to my needs more. (Here’s a way you can learn to honor your season).
3. Your failure will be your greatest strength.
Life is full of paradox after paradox. Like with my story, failing at one thing has lead to the deepest investigation of self love. Giving birth created the strongest and most earth shaking relationships of my life. It’s helped me learn about my layers shame and grief and be with my shadows.
I wouldn’t have changed that failure for anything.
Failure is fuel. Fuel is power.
– Abby Wambach
Beautiful one, tell me – what would you do if failure wasn’t an option?
ps – If you’ve been feeling confused about the feelings that come from failure, this self study course is for you.